I’ll be with you in a minute, i’m just having a Cobra meeting…


So this week the UK has basically been attacked from within – all out rioting in various cities across the country, starting on Saturday night. The causes of the riots have largely been blurred – what started as a protest against a shooting has become an excuse to loot and just cause damage.

So while this was spreading across the country with the police, fire service and ambulance crews trying their best to deal with the destruction people naturally start to look upward for a response. No, not to God, up to their elected officials – especially to the guy at the top of the tree, David Cameron.

As you’d expect the Prime Minister and his cabinet were hard at work on Saturday Night/Sunday Morning working on options to increase policing, sanction additional tougher measures and make a statement to the public to instill some kind of confidence. This may have been what you’d expect from the people leading the country but no not in this country. Dave and the rest of his cronies were too busy enjoying themselves on holiday to care about the people they represent. Dave was over in Tuscany with wife Samantha – rumours of raucuous laugher during a limbo competition while parts of London were burned to the ground are unconfirmed. Meanwhile George Osbourne was having a whale of a time over in Disney World. But surely they left someone in charge I hear you ask? Well yes, they left bumbling idiot Nick Clegg in charge. Dont think anything further needs to be said about that.

Finally, Dave catches on and returns from holiday – now we’re ready for some action, he’s gonna touch down and immediately start banging some heads together right? Wrong. What’s his big plan? A Cobra meeting. What comes out of the Cobra meeting? Increase the number of police in London to 16,000 including some from other forces across the UK. The result? London is quiet and no rioting occurs. The side effect – Manchester, Birmingham and Liverpool are overwhelmed by rioting because police despite their best efforts can’t cope. What a genius Dave is eh! But don’t worry, another Cobra meeting is planned – everyone is waiting to hear his next bright idea. Here it comes – Water Cannons! Excellent, finally some tough methods that we can use immedi…. oh no wait, we have to order them 24hrs in advance. The incompetence is now nothing short of staggering. What fucking use are Water Cannons when you have to order them and then WAIT 24hrs for them to arrive – they should have been ordered on Saturday night and have been placed on standby ready to be used.

This entire debacle has shown the Prime Minister to rather weak when it comes to making the big decisions in a crisis. He seems unable to make a decision without holding a Cobra meeting. You can almost picture the scene as Samantha Cameron asks him what he fancies for his dinner and he has to hold an emergency Cobra meeting to discuss the options. You’re at the top of the tree man, make a fucking decision!

Before the ‘my party does no wrong’ Tories start attacking me, I’m not suggesting Ed Miliband would have handled it any better and indeed, he was on holiday when it was all kicking off too but to be fair to him, he isn’t (and lets me be honest, never will be) the Prime Minister.

As I write this the rioting appears to have subsided now thankfully so get ready for the comedy image of 15 Water Cannon trucks trundling around your city with nothing to do.

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